juli 2012

When the power of love overcomes the love of power, the world will know peace.

By ashes to ashes, to dust you shall return, the earth will again occour. Quiet I lay there, cold and untouched. Heard on the words, while my closest cried. Sorry Mum, because I never listened. Sorry Dad, for all the times we should have had together. Excuse siblings, for all our arguments. Excuse friends, for not telling you who I really was. I always cried alone, but now we cry together. While I have my last word. Now let's follow her to he final resting place, and give her the eternal rest. 




God gave you the life you live because he knew you would be strong enough to live it

Even now, this time for me. When I wake up in different rooms. I wake up without you and think of you constantly, I light a cigarette and singing the blues. While I sing about my troubles I leave as if you no longer exist. I try my best to put it all behind me. Forget my tears, and the reality of life without you. But then I remember that I just can't get over you, and that it's killing me. Even now, this time for me. Remains the same for me to do - to just miss you. I try to look forward and to not look back. But you hold me back with your hand all the time, inside my presious memory. In one way or another I believe I live my life based on a memory we once had together, from the times that we shared. Back when there were just me and you against the world. For do not forget, this is still not over for me, yet. It takes time. What we once had will always be with me. I want to be the one who makes the next step, I will correct my head and forget all, but it will take time. Those stupid things I did, I'll regret the rest of my life. I will do anything in my power to provent this from happening again, or something like this even. I will do many changes with myself, and try to become a better person. I hope that maby will make you want to come back to me. With time. If I just give you time, and change myself. You will come back. So I will do anything for you, because for me this isn't over yet. Even now this time, I do nothing but errors all the time. I blame my pride and stubborness that I can not change. Every day is a new day for me, all the new days to come, tomorrow and after that bring new hope to me. New hopes that you one day will come back to me. Memories I have of you and me are getting weak now. Our future together seems to rot. I'll be the one who changes everything. because I still love you. I will love you forever. You will forever hold my soul and heart. Please come back to me. I ask you from my knees, even if you came back to me and then broke my heart again, I would never regret it. I would just treasure each single minute I got with you. I still think of you, every second of every day. But to be completely honest, the day you left me, deep down in my heart I knew and realized, you would never come back to me. Those words hurts me, deep down. Until it reach the bones. You showed me the hard way that life is hard, and the only way out is through. The thing I think that was the worst was that it came so sudden, that's why it was so surreal. So untinkable, but my sences knows what's true. But the feelings doesn't follow the sences, they just live their own life. The head just exist like on autopilot. The pictures and the toughts, I just hide it. Or at least I try to hide it. I try to stay positive, always. I understand, but at the same time I dont. I know you wanted us to be enough, but we weren't. You lived with a grief that no one could take away, or make better. To think of you in the lonelyness, so lonely, almost every day, all by yourself. Knowing that, that pain is almost bigger than the pain from you leaving. You yourself make your own chances, and no one were to ble. Still, each night I think by myself, was there something I could do to provent you from leaving? The grief is hard to carry. My tears falls deep, like the snow falls outside. In a stream of pain, they find the way to the sircle of the pain. Inside im wonerable and cold, not because I want to, but because it just are like that. You're with your mum now, just like you wanted. Finally you've found your peace. You have arrived your destination. I understand, your wounds never healed. I understad, the pain you felt. I understand, and I forgive you. 

You dont know what your alive for, until you know what you would die for

don't tell me the sky's the limit when there's footprints on the moon 

life, the only way out is through



Memories are wonderful to make, but sometimes painful to remember

golden sands, see you soon. 


"Show me a man with a tattoo and I'll show you a man with an interesting past."

Jeg elsker deg kjæresten min. 


Above all, be true to yourself, and if you cannot put your heart in it, take yourself out of it.

Fem dager og seks netter

Uten min kjære samboer, hvordan skal dette gå. (?) Tror ikke vi har vært så lenge borte fra hverandre helt siden vi møttes for andre gang. (Første gang husker vi ikke så veldig mye av!) Haha! Men det skal nok gå bra. Han er på bibelcamp på ferie sammen med sin mor og døtrene sine, mens jeg tar med meg Jerry hjem til gamle hjemmet mitt Stavanger (Hundvåg) og Jæren (Undheim) og er med venner og bekjente der. Og selvfølgelig familie. 

Jeg har bodd i Ølensvåg i 7 måneder nå, har jo vert hjemme på korte besøk og dagsturer men ikke noe særlig mer (Ikke uten min kjære!) han har som regel da alltid vert med. Huff å gru. Han reiste idag morges i 09.00 tida og jeg savner han litt allerede, nei.. MASSE! og jeg får ikke se han igjen før han kommer tilbake hjem til meg på Fredagskveld. Skrekk og Gru!!! Og for og ned dramatisere hele opplevelsen, så får vi oppleve en herlig helg sammen vi to og ungene hans når han kommer tilbake med grilling på terassen og kos. 

OG mens jeg er hjemme skal jeg ut på MYE kjekke greier. Jeg skal besøke mitt hjem fra mai/juni til januar Hundvåg (Veronica, Natalie og Alexander) og gu det skal bli godt å få se igjen de små gullene. Jeg skal en tur ut til Nærbø og besøke min kjære gode veninne, Line. Og jeg skal ikke minst hjem til min kjære Mamma og være med søte lille Frida!! Og så skal jeg møte Mormor, verdens beste dame. Verdens beste "søster", Silje og gullungen Robin. Og mange andre gode gamle kjente fjes. Blir så gøy!! 

Så håper med andre ord tiden og dagene kommer til å fyke fort forbi. Kommer nok ikke til og ta med meg pc så kommer nok til å bli lite blogging. Skal ha med iPaden så kansje jeg blogger litt med den, hvis jeg får tid. Men har mye på plakaten som skal ordnes ellers også. Skal til kvadrat og hente noen bilder og lage albumet som Mamma skal få fra dåpen til Frida. Jeg skal spise lunsj og middager med gode folk. Jeg skal på shoppingtur med gojenta og jeg håper jeg skal få møtt Benedicte. Skal i banken og ordne noen papirer, i posten og ordne noen papirer, i folkeregistert og ordne noen papirer, til legen på et besøk og ordne masse med NKK ang salget av RIO og kjøpene av Jerry og Rocky. ¨

Ha en fortsatt fin uke, så blogges vi. 


Jeg elsker deg med hele meg, gutten min!!

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